The Art of Listening: From Hearing to Understanding

"Are You Even Listening?": 5 Ways to Help Your Child Really Hear You 👂

We've all been there: You ask your child to put on their shoes for the tenth time, but they seem to be in a world of their own. It's easy to get frustrated, but often, "not listening" isn't a sign of defiance. It's often a skill that needs to be developed.

Here's how you can help your child improve their listening skills and build better communication:

• Get on Their Level: Before you speak, make sure you have their full attention. Get down on their eye level, make eye contact, and use a gentle touch on their shoulder. Say their name and wait until they look at you before you give your instruction. This simple act of connection ensures they are ready to hear what you have to say.

  
  

• Be Clear and Concise: Avoid long, complicated sentences. Instead of saying, "Honey, could you please go into your room, pick up all the clothes on the floor, and put them in your hamper so we can wash them later?" try, "Please put your clothes in the hamper." Give one simple instruction at a time.

  
  

• The Power of "First, Then": This is a great tool for helping kids follow multi-step directions. Frame your request using "first, then." For example, "First, please put away your blocks. Then, we can go outside." This gives them a clear sequence of events and a positive reward.

  
  

• Make it a Game: Turn listening into a fun activity! Play "Simon Says" to practice following directions. Or, use a "listening stick" (a kitchen spoon or toy wand) that gives the person holding it the floor to speak without interruption. This makes listening a fun challenge, not a chore.

  
  

• Listen to Them, Too: The best way to teach listening is to be a good listener yourself. When your child is talking to you, put down your phone, turn off the TV, and give them your full attention. Ask questions and reflect back what they've said. This models respectful listening and shows them how important their voice is.

  
  

By making small changes to how you communicate, you can help your child develop the valuable life skill of listening—a skill that will benefit them far beyond your home.